Creative Romanticism - Azara Feroz Sayed

Do we count these chores as romanticism in our lives - is what I was thinking as I read the article available at http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/02/20/0.real.romance/index.html - excerpt below

But he did teach me how to fly a kite last summer, and sometimes early in the morning I overhear him playing "tea party" with our daughter, and sometimes late at night I overhear him playing "Blackbird" with his guitar. He has genuine integrity, he has serious style, and he's pulled me through more than one bout of the stomach flu. Anybody can sprinkle rose petals across a big brass bed, but only a real man will hold your hair while you're throwing up.

Now, there are those who will say that references to intense nausea don't belong in a column about romance, but I'm thinking maybe it's time we broaden our definition of what constitutes romance. Ask yourself this: When the man you love realizes that half the screws are missing from the Ikea bookcase he's attempting to assemble for you, does he:
(a) Complain bitterly about herring and Volvos -- vowing to forsake all things Swedish for the rest of his natural days?
(b) Leave the shelving in a heap on the living room floor and question your need to read in the first place?
(c) Complete construction using a combination of rubber bands and Krazy Glue while suggesting you fill the thing with pamphlets rather than actual books?

If you answered (c), then, my friend, life is good -- because it means somebody out there loves you enough to try to get your bookcase together. That creative effort is the kind of everyday gesture on which great romances are built.

The article made me think about the stuff that we don't tag as romanticism. I can only thank God for blessing me with Feroz - for his patience with me, while I go thru the process of 'change management' by complaining - adjusting to a smaller kitchen, adjusting to a life without car etc - Thanks to Feroz, our house is a Museum of Creativity - with wall hangings being sticked to curtains instead of walls, lamp shades made of table matt, Flower Vase in a fish tank etc. Feroz's Director brought his kids home to show them creativity at work. Feroz loves to spend time on doing stuff for the house and me watching him go thru the process of creation. That is a $o cost romanticsm with a life long memory value!!

As always, I can never be pleasesd, I wish he would have been interested in tidying/cleaning too - like a software engineer - he likes to work only on development projects :)

Most of our shopping life together has been spent in buying stuff for our house - trying to make it the most wonderful and comfortable place as we can. I am just putting down stuff that we consider as chores and don't count them as romanticism and as the article mentions, 'each day is a valentine's day'

Like the artice mentions about 'learning to fly a kite', In my life with Feroz, I have surparssed the number of 'Firsts' in the few years of my life with him than to those I did till I met him. I was a very timid, non-adventurous person and Feroz worked with me patiently in driving my fears out, stretching my self-imposed ideas of what I cannot do. I owe my physical, mental fitness to his continous gyan on staying fit. His patience in making me understand basic science principles, nature, music, religion, psychology...His biggest gift is, making me be aware of change, taking me thru it and showing me the benefits when crossed over!! Thank You Feroz!!

Professor's Last Lecture - Azara Feroz Sayed

Came accross this presentation done by Carnegie Mellon Computer Science Professor Randy Pausch, who has been fighting cancer. A truly remarkable and inspirational segment about childhood dreams and how to achieve them and lessons learnt on the way which will help others enable achieve their dreams

See the video at http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/22368/44055 or download the transcript http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/Randy/pauschlastlecturetranscript.pdf

Some thoughts from his presentation that I noted down

- We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.
- Enabling the dreams of others is even more fun - being a professor helped it
- Providing the Inspiration and Permission to dream in childhood is important
- Believe in your childhood dreams
- Get the fundamentals right as otherwise the fancy stuff isn't going to work - practice footbal without a ball as other 21 don't have the ball
- Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want
- When you do a bad job and nobody points it out - they don't care for you - your critics are the ones telling you they love you and still care
- Participating in sports such as football, swimming etc provides for indirect training in Teamwork, sportsmanship, perseverance, etcetera, etcetera
- It is a tremendous gift to get other people excited and happy
- You can tell if the world is good by body language. If they are standing close to each other, the world is good
- When you do something young enough and train for it - it becomes part of you
- When people care they spent hours helping you improve
- Brick walls (obstacles) are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.
- We need to wait long enough and people will surprise and impress us. When we are pissed off at somebody and we are angry at them, we just haven’t given them enough time. Just give them a little more time and they’ll almost always impress us.
- Oppurtunities to express Creativity most important for upbringing
- Instill importance of people over things
- Being humble
- Helping others
- Never give up - some door will open
- How do you get people to help you? You can’t get there alone. You get people to help you by telling the truth. Being earnest.
- Get a feedback loop and listen to it. When people give you feedback, cherish it and
use it.
- Advice for woman looking for man in their life - Just ignore everything men say and only pay attention to what they do. It’s that simple. It’s that easy.
- Decide if you are Tigger(enthusiastic) or Eeyore - Have fun - Never lose the child like wonder
- Theory - people who come from large families are better people because they’ve just had to learn to get along.
- Work and play well with others - live with integrity - tell the truth - Aplogize (I am sorry, It was my fault, How do I correct) - How do I correct? is the part which we all miss and to pay attention to that aspect while apologizing
- There is no one who is all evil - People will eventually show their good side
- Show Gratitude
- If you’re such a good salesman that any company that gets you is going to use you as a salesman. And you might as well be selling something worthwhile like education - being a professor
- Don't spend time whining and complaining
- Build something for others to learn from your life
- Be good at something. It makes you valuable
- Be prepared. Luck is when preparation meets oppurtuinity
- Say your story to belong in family, relationship, world